I shared this on my blog in January of 2014 and when it popped up on my Timehop today, I felt like the message still resonates within me. If you’re like me and you struggle with starting and stopping before reaching the ‘finish line’, this is a blog for you! Enjoy 🙂

xx… Lori

Have you ever set a goal? Began a pursuit for something more? Searched for a life of meaning? Something deeper? Something greater? Something better?

If you’re like me, the answer is yes. Absolutely. Over and over again I’ve begun a relentless pursuit for something, and over and over I’ve found myself stuck and stagnant. I start off with the best of intentions and yet over and over again, it all falls apart. Sometimes in days, sometimes in weeks, sometimes even months but my plans inevitably come crashing down to a fast finish.

Why does this happen? What is the big looming issue? Why can’t I just finish what I started? Why can’t I just stick to the plan? Why can’t I see it to completion? What is standing in my way? Is it the devil? Is it God wanting to “save me for something better”? Is it my family? My friends? My responsibilities? What is it??

I’ve thought about this over and over again. I’ve talked about it, I’ve prayed about it, I’ve read about what could be the problem, I’ve sought out a solution, I’ve asked for advice and encouragement and still, nothing. Nothing seems to help, nothing until now at least.

Recently I’ve felt so strong in my heart that the problem is me. I am the only thing standing between me and my destiny. It’s not my situation or circumstance, it’s not my availability, it’s not my support system or lack thereof, it’s not the devil, it’s not a test or trial, it’s simply me.

I forgot to say no.

I’ve come to the conclusion that a lack of self-control is the leading issue in my failure, or better yet lack of success. I don’t believe I’m technically a failure, I mean I live a pretty decent life, I’m doing well by most standards but deep down inside I know there is so much more and I stand in my own way daily.

I forgot to say no,

• No, I won’t do that
• No, I won’t go there
• No, I won’t watch that
• No, I won’t eat that
• No, I won’t say that
• No, I won’t listen to that
• No, I won’t snooze one more time
• No, I won’t take a nap
• No, I won’t skip this
• No, I won’t answer that call
• No, I won’t reply to that text
• No, I don’t have time
• No, I won’t post that
• No, I won’t respond to that
• No, I won’t buy that
• No, I won’t spend that
• No, I don’t need that

No, I can’t and I won’t.

In a desperate attempt to make everyone happy (including and primarily myself), I forgot to say no. I forgot what that even means. I forgot what boundaries were. I forgot that it is healthy and appropriate to place limitations on my lifestyle. I forgot that just because I can, doesn’t mean that I should.

I can blame everyone and everything around me for why I fail daily to complete even the most miniscule of tasks, or I can realize that it is MY responsibility to have self- control and discipline. That is not anyone else’s responsibility. There is a reason it’s called self– control and self– discipline.

A life without limits will be a life without legacy.

Do you want to see a change in your life? The way you eat? The way you work? The way you spend? The way you live? Get out of your own way. Let God be God. Do what you need to do, not what you want to do. Develop healthy habits, biblical boundaries and learn the art of saying NO once again.

Having two toddlers, I can tell you one of the most challenging points in parenting is trying to deal with an overtired child who will not go to sleep.

A tired child cries over EVERYTHING, is bothered by ANYTHING and blows ALL THINGS out of proportion. There’s no logic or reasoning with a tired child, there is no resolve for a tired child and there is no peace for the poor soul who’s dealing with that tired child.

There have been times when dealing with a really out of control, tired toddler that I literally want to scream ‘Just go to sleep!!! Why are you fighting it?? Just lay your head down, close your eyes and take a nap!’

The struggle of an overtired child is SO real (along with SO frustrating and SO exhausting) and if you’re like me, it’s the last thing you want to deal with.

You might find this imagery comical but how many of you know that sometimes it’s much easier to point out (and even laugh at) the dysfunction in a tired toddler then it is to see the dysfunction in ourselves.

Over the past several weeks I’ve come to the sobering realization that I am that tired toddler. I am that kid who needs a nap! I am that child who’s crying over everything, bothered by anything and blowing it all out of proportion because my tired mind can’t process any issue effectively.

I am that tired toddler and here are some of the warning signs I’ve learned to identify.

Working for longer and longer periods of time without a break (or ‘nap time’) in between. This was my first warning sign. When the breaks in your days turn into breaks in your weeks and then into months, you have a problem. We can’t live for vacation. Vacation is great, but there should be regularly scheduled breaks along the way. If you find yourself living for the next vacation, it’s a good indication that you are falling out of a rhythmic routine that balances work and rest.

I’m very goal oriented but that can also manifest itself in the form of being a workaholic. There are times where I’m just going, going and going, without any signs of stopping and that’s just not good! Rest is good, rest is NECESSARY, rest is not for the weary or weak, rest is for the wise. When we rest before the work is done, that’s called laziness but resting AFTER you’ve put in work, that’s called wisdom. As productive adults, we must be aware of the difference.

Being bothered by essentially anything and everything. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you’re absolutely irritated by anything and everything that is said, done or implied? Or better yet, you’re irritated by anything and everything that is NOT said, done or implied? Yeah, this is a sign of being overtired. You can’t think or reason well (or at all for that matter) so you just take things much further then they belong going, all the time! I’m not talking about the occasional, stress induced freak out. I’m talking about the days that are filled with more irritation than anything else. That is a problem.

Being resentful towards the things I once loved. My daughters love certain things. Savannah loves lip gloss and tutu’s, Rylee loves the drums and her blanket, they both love Mommy and Daddy, but when they are tired… FORGET IT… They despise the things they normally love. ‘Ry you want your blankie?’.. WAHHHHHHHHHH! (INSERT CRYING BABY HERE!) You might as well have offered her a thorn bush.

When you’re tired; you hate the things you love, you resent the things you once enjoyed and you find frustration in the thing you once felt passionate about. Being tired totally skews your perspective so badly, that it’s almost impossible to see how far off you really are. You think that everything and everyone around you is out to get you, but the reality is, it’s just you! Don’t assume everyone is out to destroy you when you’re simply witnessing the effects of your self-destructive behavior.

Being overtired is an equal opportunity offender. Did I mention EVERYTHING bothers you? When I’m tired, it’s never isolated to one or two areas of my life. It will manifest in my marriage, my parenting, my friendship, my job and dare I say it, even in my ministry! Being tired leaves you open for offense anywhere and everywhere you go. You’re constantly thinking people are against you, the world is conspiring to destroy you, your friends hate you, your family doesn’t support you.. Blah, blah, blah. While many of these things could be true, it’s unlikely they are in this scenario. It’s all in your tired mind. You’ve past the point of functioning and you’ve entered into the land of delusions where nothing makes sense but it all seems real and valid to you.

So now what? What do you do when you realize you are that overtired child? How do you fix it? What makes it better? Well, the answer is simple. Take a nap.

No, seriously! Take a nap, have a break, rest, relax, recharge!!

For me personally, it’s usually a trifold ‘break’ that I require to get back on track.

1.) My soul needs a break, possibly even a detox and definitely some TLC. Whatever’s happening on the outside is a manifestation of what’s going on on the inside. If you’re feeling tired in your body, your soul is probably exhausted. Stop. Take a break. Read a book or a devotional, listen to a preaching or maybe just play some worship music but whatever you do, make sure it’s something that will feed your soul and not drain it. This isn’t a time where you stop and binge on Netflix, this is a time to feed your soul with something sustainable.

2.) I need a mental purge. Clear your mind & l let it go. Whatever it is, it has to go. Carrying excess mental baggage is enough to weigh anyone down. Take a few minutes to empty your brain of all the extra nonsense you’ve been carrying.

 

• The way they looked at you.

• The dishes that weren’t done.

• The laundry that isn’t folded.

• The report that wasn’t finished.

• The apology you never received.

• The friendship that ended.

The list could go on and on, but you get my point. Let it go. Just do it. Carrying it around doesn’t change anything, it just drains you of all the mental and emotional strength you need to function as a decent human!

3.) My body needs a break. If you’re like me, my ‘resting place’ is not a familiar place, it’s not a peaceful place and it’s not a comfortable place. Why? Because I rarely go there. This past weekend it took me nearly 45 minutes to take a nap. I just couldn’t do it. My mind was thinking of all the things I could be doing, my body was feeling weird, I wanted to get up and GO! But I knew I couldn’t. On my journey to total balance and well-being, I knew I needed to stay in this restful place, even if it felt uncomfortable in the moment. Your body needs rest, it craves rest and it should get to a place where it welcomes rest.

Being tired is exhausting (DUH) but dealing with tired, is even worse. Your spouse, your friends, your family, they need you to be well rested because whether or not they are willing to tell you, they are exhausted by dealing with you in this state. I’m thankful that my husband will tell me when things are getting out of hand, kindly and lovingly he’ll point me in the right direction and help me get back on track. I love this! But I’ve also realized, now matter what he say, if I don’t actually do something about doing nothing, I won’t see change.

Are you tired? Drained? Desperate for a break and becoming difficult to deal with? Well, you know what to do. Stop, rest, relax.

You know what the best part of my nap was this weekend was? Waking up and realizing the world didn’t end in the process of me napping. Life goes on, but it goes on better when you’re rested enough to enjoy it!

I hope you take some time this week to nap, rest, relax and enjoy life just a little more.

xx.. Lori

A few weeks ago I made a hair appointment. I haven’t colored my hair since May & I haven’t cut it since June!! Needless to say, it was time.

I scheduled my appointment, I started searching Pinterest for inspiration and I was totally ready and excited for a fresh look. I wasn’t unhappy with my hair, but it was time, you know?.. 

So the week or so leading up to my appointment the strangest things started happening. I had the BEST hair days, my color looked amazing, I was loving my length and I started to wonder ‘Do I really want to do this?’

I mean of course I did! And it was definitely time but for whatever reason, I felt like ‘maybe it’s not time’ or ‘maybe it’s not what I really want’. 

I almost considered cancelling my appointment until I was able to identifying the common denominator. Anytime I’m on the the brink of change (no matter how big or small) my mind goes wild. I over think, I over analyze and I almost always try to talk myself out of whatever I was doing. This could be for anything on a scale from hair colors to career changes. The pattern was enough to make me ask myself; Why is this always the case when I face an opportunity for change?.. 

My example might seem shallow but think about it; how often do you approach the threshold of change only to look back and think; 

‘Is this really necessary?’

‘Do I really want to do this?’

‘Maybe it wasn’t so bad to begin with.’

‘I know I haven’t grown in this position, but they are really flexible with my schedule!’ 

‘This relationship isn’t going anywhere, but do I really want to start over?’ 

‘I wanted to start working out this week, but do I really need to? I kind of like how I look a little thicker.’ 

‘I’ve always wanted a big family, but maybe it’s just not realistic for me.’

‘I would love to go back to school, but am I really the book smart type?..’ 

There’s something about being on the brink of change that makes you look back and focus on the past rather then looking forward to the possibilities.

It’s not until you give your two week notice that you remember all the good memories you’ve made at your job. 

It’s not until you’re ready to walk out of that relationship that you remember that one special night. 

It’s not until you’re ready to buy a home that you appreciate the convenience of renting. 

It’s not until you’re ready to move across the country that you realize you have more friends then you thought. 

There’s something about the fear of the unknown that makes you look back frantically for something familiar to hold on to. 

I’ve done this so many times in my life. Sometimes the fear merely intimidated me, but other times it immobilized me and kept me stuck in a places I had no business being. I’ve found that when I am most afraid of letting go, my fear isn’t based on what I’m leaving, but that where I’m going won’t be better. 

It’s scary to look into the unknown with uncertainty but we have to become uncomfortable with looking back to the once was when we have the opportunity to look forward to the what could be. 

I can’t be the only one who faces change with fear. I can’t be the only one who looks forward with excitement but inevitable shrinks back from intimidation. But I also know that I can’t be the only one desperate to break free of the chains of my past and more forward into the possibilities of my future. 

It’s one thing to talk about it, it’s another thing to plan for it, it’s quite a different thing to actually do it! I’ve come to the point where if it scares me, I’m going to face it. If it intimidates me, I’m going to do it. It might start off small, but I refuse to live in the false security that mediocrity provides. If I can commit to doing even one thing everyday that makes me even a little nervous, I know I can find growth. 

What can you face today? Maybe it’s as simple as cleaning our your closet, but maybe it’s as difficult as ending a long time relationship. Maybe it’s cleaning out your cell phone contacts or maybe it’s finally commuting to that job, that relationship or that move you’ve been procrastinating. Whatever it looks like for you, commit to being brave today. 

Push past the petty & step into purpose. Change doesn’t just happen, sometimes you need to chase it down. 

Make the appointment.

Plan the dinner. 

Set up ‘the talk’. 

Seek the help. 

Cancel the subscription. 

Skip the gossip. 

Make yourself accountable. 

Do what you need to do to get where you’re trying to go. One small change can be the catalyst to living the life you’ve always dreamt of. 

What change will you chase down today? 

Xo.. Lori