There’s something about this time of year that’s just HARD for me. Summer has come to an end, the days are getting shorter, nights are getting colder, and as beautiful as the trees look, even the colorful leaves are dropping quickly and reminding us of our impending future; winter.
In the Northeast it’s long, dark, cold and for me, a little sad. I love our seasons, but this one feels particularly dreary for me.
Summer has only been over for about 4 weeks or so and I’ve already looked back at pictures, reminiscing on beach days and pool days and all the fun we had, at least a dozen times now.
Why is that? Why is it so hard for me to let go? To move on? To embrace what’s to come without obsessing over what was?
I think it’s pretty obvious I’m not just talking about seasons anymore, I’m talking about life.
When I look back, I see the pattern. Seasons come, and seasons go and most times, I struggle with that.
Leaving my parents house for the first time.
Putting away that bin of newborn clothes for the first time.
Changing jobs, or roles in leadership.
Leaving our first home.
Saying good bye to my best friend.
Watching my kids grow up.
Leaving our first church.
Watching relationships come to an end.
The list could go on and on, but this is a blog post, not a therapy session and I’m sure you get it! The truth is maybe some of these resonate with you, maybe none do but here’s what I know: in life we all go from season to season, both good and bad, and this happens with or without our consent.
So what do we do?
Fight against it? Try to stop it? Push back and hope we get our way? Lag a little longer in a season that’s clearly over?
It sounds crazy but just imagine for a second you came over for a cup of coffee, and in the middle of the winter I open the door in a swim suit and towel, ‘Come in’ I say to you, ‘Let’s grab some coffee and sit on the back deck by the pool.’
You might question my sanity or at least, my sincerity.
‘Is she being serious right now?’ You might think.
Sounds extreme right? It might be, but I believe that’s what some of us look like when we keep trying to drag out the last season, the last conversation, the last familiar thing- when we KNOW things have clearly changed, and it’s time to shift.
I’ve been doing this a lot lately. In more ways than I’d like to admit and last weekend I had the realization;
It’s over. And it’s ok.
It’s over. Whatever ever ‘it’ is for you, it’s done and it’s ok.
Whether it’s childhood trauma, the loss of a relationship or maybe even the GOOD things in life that need to shift and transient ion, it’s the natural progression of life. It’s ok!!! Let go. Move on.
Here’s the thing. The sooner you can come to terms with something ending, the sooner you can begin to enjoy what has begun.
Because endings and beginnings go hand and hand even when it doesn’t feel that way.
So what are you staring back at? Look for the last time and declare in your heart; it’s over and it’s ok.
I believe that each of us only has but so much capacity within our head, our heart and our hands to hold onto things. Keeping any of these full of the WRONG things, people, beliefs or experiences only limits what we’re able to receive.
Let go of what you’re holding onto so your hands, heart and mind will be open to whatever else this life has to offer you.
I’ve been in a shifting season, for many reasons and the one thing that I can say through it all is I hold on for dear life. Sometimes it feels as though God himself has to rip from my hands what I’m holding onto because it’s time to let go and I just won’t. I don’t want to be like that anymore. I want to freely let go of what’s in my head, what’s on my heart and what’s in my hands when it’s time to do so. In letting go, I can learn to lean in and grab hold of the next thing, the new thing, the thing that is for here and now, not there and then.
I’m not sure what your situation looks like but I felt strongly that I’m not alone in this so I share my heart and my story in hopes that you too can find the courage to know it’s over and it’s ok.