HIDING PLACE

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Bedtime with my baby girls is always an adventure. Some nights I literally want to pull every hair out of my head in frustration but other nights, they are simply magical. My little ones will snuggle close, prompt us to pray and then thank Jesus for things like the day, Daddy’s lunch or our little family.

Moments like this melt my heart but with these unpredictable two, I never really know what I’m going to get! Anything is possible, anything can happen and a couple of nights ago my youngest daughter surprised me yet again.

‘I’m scared of the dark!’ she cried.

‘Are you really?’ I asked her.

Now I’m wondering to myself, Did she just today decide to be afraid? Because every other night she’s fine. So much so that we don’t even own a nightlight at this point.

‘I’m so scared!’ she cried again as she literally cocooned herself under the blankets and into even more darkness.

‘Ry, it’s not even that dark in here!’ I pleaded.

You see with the bedroom door open and the lights from our Christmas tree coming down the hall and a small illumination from the street light, the room was dark, but not pitch black.

Now Ms. Rylee B. has cocooned herself into the darkest of dark and is literally hiding from the dark, in the dark.

‘Rylee, come out from there. It’s darker under the blankets then it is out here!’ I tried to reason with her, but she wouldn’t budge.

‘Ok, ok- I’ll leave you alone, but Mommy is right here you don’t have to be afraid!’

And then, as I’m sure you can already guess; the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart.

‘Isn’t it so sad when our children hide in what they fear most?’

Ugh. Yes Lord, it’s so sad!

In that moment, as Rylee fell asleep in the darkness of her cocoon, I began to think about all the times I hid within my fears so much so that they became comfortable to me.

The times I let the fear of rejection keep me isolated.

The times I let the fear of failure keep me from even trying.

The times I let insecurities disable me from doing my best.

The times I let the fear of being hurt keep me from developing good relationships.

All these times I hid from my fears, in my fears and it felt totally normal.

All these times I let the darkness validate my fear rather than letting my faith validate my freedom.

Sheesh, the list could literally go on and on but in that moment I realized far too many times I’ve allowed fear to push me into a corner and I end up hiding in the very thing I fear the most.

When I saw my daughter do it, I just wanted to pull her up, take her out of the darkness and hold her safe in my arms. I don’t want her to live in fear; I don’t want her to live in hiding. I want her to live wide open in love and faith.

If that’s my heart for my daughter, imagine the heart of the Father for us. He loves us more than I could ever love Rylee. That’s a hard concept to grasp but it’s the truth. In all my heart, in all my life, I will never muster up more love then the love for her then our Father has for us. He is love so His love tank isn’t dependent on anyone, isn’t contingent on anything, His love just is.

Gosh I want to come out of hiding.

I want to live wide open.

I want to find shelter and safety in the Father’s arms even when I face the darkness and shadows of this world. I really, really want to let His arms of refuge become my default hiding spot rather than hiding in my fears.

I want to hear His words ‘Come out of there, you’re safe here with me’ and actually move, actually go, actually allow myself to come out of this hiding place and realize that I’m safer in the shadows with Him then in hiding without Him.

I let my daughter rest there that night. Not because I didn’t love her, not because I didn’t want to hold her and snuggle her to sleep but because I love her enough to let her learn. She came out eventually. I imagine when it felt hard to breathe in there and when that small space became confining and uncomfortable, she finally came out of hiding and rested in my arms.

If you’ve been hiding in your fears for too long, please know that God isn’t letting you stay there because He’s in agreement with you, He’s simply loving you enough to let you learn.

When you’re ready, right outside the darkness, right outside of your fears, right outside of your worry He’s sitting there waiting for you. When you finally break free from the confinement of that small space you placed yourself into, He’ll be waiting, arms open wide, with endless love and space for you to rest in.

Ironically enough, Rylee actually means courageous. That means even when she is afraid, I call her courageous, I call her brave. Can you hear what the Father is calling you?

I hope little Rylee B. has encouraged you as much as she has me. She’s a little treasure to me just as you are to your Father in heaven.

 

xx.. Lori

GET BACK UP

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Have you ever heard of the smart phone app called ‘TimeHop’? This app links to your social media accounts as well as your camera roll and every day it hops back in time to show you what you posted and/ or took pictures of that day the previous years.

I love TimeHop because I get a moment to reflect on how big my kids are getting, how much they grow and changed in a year and even large milestones that I may have forgotten. For example, today my TimeHop populated this adorable picture of my oldest daughter holding an ultrasound picture. On this day, 3 years ago we announced the pregnancy of our second daughter. Usually the memories are bright and light hearted like this one but this past Sunday, TimeHop made me feel all sorts of {negative} ways about my life!

You see Sunday, December 10th, was my one year- vlog-iversary!! One year ago I finally committed to doing the video blogs I had been longing to do for some time. When the TimeHop came up it was a reminder of such a great night, a night I faced all my fears, a night I pursued purpose, a night I really just let go and walked into my daydream. But what that TimeHop also revealed is that it had been one year since I actually did a video blog. Yes, you got that right! My vlogging journey started and ended on December 10, 2016.

How sad is that!?! When I saw this Sunday morning I felt all sorts of feelings but later that evening when I received a screenshot text of this same post from a close friend, all my feelings came to a boiling point.

She quoted me saying ‘What does it look like to live out the very thing that sets your soul on fire?’

Well, for the single day I did it, it felt amazing. I looked at the pictures I took succeeding that post and let me tell you, the amount of joy in my eyes is unexplainable. I never felt so good, so alive, so thankful, so expectant then that moment that I stood up, stepped out and did something I always wanted to do!

But then….

‘But then what?’ you’re probably wondering. The answer is; I don’t really know.

But then life?

But then fear?

But then busyness?

But then priorities?

But then kids?

But then work?

But then school?

But then….

We all have a but then moment or season that derails us. It might be a moment that is marked in your life forever or it might be like a wave that comes suddenly and slowly but surely pulls you out of place over time. It could be a decision you make to step back but it could feel like a moment that you can’t even recall yet it changes the trajectory of your life forever.

I won’t act like this moment is over for me, I’m still kind of working through the muddied thoughts I have towards myself and this particular moment in my life however what I can tell you is Monday morning, as I drove into work, still feeling the sting from the night before I felt the Lord remind me of a portion of scripture in Proverbs.

‘Although a righteous person may fall seven times, he gets up again….’ Proverbs 24:16

Gosh. These words hit me harder then the defeat I felt, harder then the frustration I was carrying, harder then the disappointment I was working through, these words hit me in the best way possible.

The Lord began to whisper; it’s ok to fall, as long as you get back up again.

I want to encourage someone today who’s feeling like they’ve fallen too many times; it’s OK to fall but to stay down, that’s the problem. When you slip, get back up. When you fall, rise again. Never, ever think that your success is measured based on the number of falls. The story isn’t over until you stop rising again.

When you’re a Christian, meaning you follow Jesus and believe that He defeated it all, even death, for you and for me, you know  that there’s nothing too hard for Him and although we fail and falter, we are ultimately walking from a place of victory and strength, not defeat and weakness.

Gosh, I’m so thankful for that reminder. That moment when I realized even 366 days later, it’s ok to get back up and try again. There’s no shame in the process and there’s no victory in submitting to defeat. The only way to lose is to quit. As long as your living, rising, walking, moving, trying- you are operating from a place of strength and victory.

I encourage you today to rise.

Rise above defeat.

Rise above hate.

Rise above your frustrations.

Rise above your limitations.

Rise above it all and move on.

The moment you move, you’re going back to a place of strength and victory.

The lie is ‘you’ve fallen too many times’ the truth is; you can still get back up again.

As always, I hope you’re encouraged to know you’re not alone in this journey!

xx… Lori

BOSS BABE

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If you follow me on social media you’ll often see me post a picture or a status update with a hashtag ‘bossbabe’ after it. It could be a picture of my daughter playing in the backyard with a caption like ‘Fun in the sun. #bossbabe’ or maybe a pre-work selfie with a coffee cup in hand and the caption ‘Caffeinated and ready for the day! #bossbabe’ 

I love the term BOSS BABE! But what does it mean to be an actual ‘boss babe’?? Is it something you do? A status you achieve? Or is it simply just a state of mind. I would like to believe it’s the latter of the three. 

To be a boss babe isn’t about what you do it’s all about how you feel. 

A boss babe has contrast. She is bold and beautiful, strong yet sympathetic, confident, secure and unrivaled in her approach to life. She lives, loves and laughs out loud. Faith is her foundation and her possibilities are endless. She is without compromise.

A boss babe doesn’t compete for the spotlight, she simply shines amongst the darkness. A boss babe isn’t afraid of collaboration, she loves her sisters and honors her brothers. She isn’t afraid of living and loving out loud.

A boss babe is the everyday girl with endless possibilities because she is confident in her Creator.

She is married.  

She is single.

She is widowed.

She is the everyday mom.

She is the working professional.

She is the dreamer.

She is the doer.

She is the go getter.

She is faith filled.

She is bold.

She is a visionary.

She is you.

Over the next several weeks I’m going to be doing a mix of blogs and vlogs that talk about this idea of being a boss babe! If you’re desperately looking for something to wake up the boss babe within you, I encourage you to subscribe to my blog and join the journey!!

Also- if you have a particular interest or need, let me know! I would love to hear from you and I would love to have the opportunity to write in a way that is intentionally edifying for my readers.

I hope to hear from you soon.

xx.. Lori 

OPEN THE DOOR

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Do you ever wake up with a feeling of ‘there has to be more to life’ in your heart? I’m not talking about a discontent or frustration with your current circumstances; I’m talking about a deep feeling of I was created for something bigger, a feeling of there has to be more.

I believe that feeling is heaven’s purpose for us, crying out from within. Heaven’s purpose can’t be filled with Earthly possessions or accolades. When you have a heaven sized hole deep within you, only heaven can fill it.

This morning I was walking into work thinking exactly this. Contemplating this thought, the feelings I had and how that would translate into something more. As I’m doing this, I got off the elevator, followed a man to the exit door and with just about a step and a half of space between us, he just releases the door (rather than holding it open as good manners suggest) and it slams right in front of me.

Boom. It was closed.

Slightly offended, I lifted my head, extend my hand and as I pushed open that door the Holy Spirit whispered;

The door will open whether they hold it or not.

Far too often we associate closed doors with dead ends but did you ever think maybe, just maybe the door wasn’t closed to stop you but to insure you opened it yourself, you put in the work, you blazed the trail. Yes, it’s polite and even expected that the person in front of you would hold the door for you, but that’s not always how life works.

Imagine in that moment if I looked at the closed door, dropped my head in disappointment, turned around, got back on the elevator, went back to the second floor, got in my car and drove away. All because someone didn’t hold the door for me. How silly would that be? How upset would my boss be? ‘They didn’t hold the door for you? Really? That’s why you won’t be in work today?’

I wonder how many times God looks down on us thinking ‘Really? They didn’t hold the door for you? That’s why you won’t walk in destiny today? That’s why you won’t fulfill purpose today? That’s why you’re going home for the day?’

Not everyone will hold the door for you, but that doesn’t mean the door is closed and locked for good. Sometimes God closes doors in our life intentionally, but other times we walk away from destiny simply because we’re afraid of a little more work.

It’s a silly concept when you think about it, but this silly concept could be the reasons many of us will never feel that sense of heavenly satisfaction.

Not every door is meant to stay shut, some we just need to open for ourselves. Today I encourage you; open the door. Take the step. Make the move. Even if every person who has gone before you has slammed the door behind them, it doesn’t mean it was meant to stay shut.

It’s time to open some doors for heaven’s sake!

xx.. Lori

IT’S NOT A COMPETITION

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Have you ever been scrolling down your timeline, looking at pictures or posts, trying to unwind with some mindless entertainment and then before you know it, you find your brain full of thoughts, questions and concerns that weren’t there moments before?

 

How did she lose all that weight so fast?

How are her kids already potty training?

Wow, her husband brought her flowers, again?..

Another date night!?

They are always going somewhere fun!

If I didn’t have all these kids, my life would be a little more adventurous.

How are they getting married?

Oh my goodness, I need those shoes!!

Look at that car!!

Why can’t I have a cool job?

What am I doing wrong?

Everyone around me is so blessed and then there’s me..

 

The list could go on and on and on. We all fall victim to it at one time or another. That feeling of ‘look at them’ that makes us feel like we’re just below the mark. It happens to me sometimes. I’ll be scrolling, trying to clear my mind and before I know it, my mind is full of junk!! It happens so easy, as if a simple crack of our hearts door allows for an avalanche of crazy to come flooding in.

For me personally, I get this feeling sometimes when I see mothers with their children. Working full time leaves me with less time than desired to be with my kids so sometimes when I see fun day trips or parents with their babies, it makes me sad! Not because they get to do it, but because I don’t.

Thoughts like ‘You’re such a bad mom’ or ‘Maybe you made the wrong choice’ flood my mind. I think about how I wish I could be with them more, how I should be with them more. I think about how I’m selfish for ‘putting my career first’ when my babies are little. Thought after thought comes in like a tornado taking down every truth, promise and revelation God has ever given me about my life, and my journey.

When I was in school, I could vividly remember the time and place God told me to enroll yet during times where I was stuck doing homework, when I had to decline invitations to study or I had to spend 4 hours in a classroom after a long day of work I literally could not see past that moment. I would forget that God had placed me on assignment. I would forget that He told me surely there would be enough grace. In the face of comparison, I would forget everything that mattered most.

It’s amazing that even with knowing I’m in the right place for this season of life everything, knowing that God has anointed me for this assignment, knowing that He is with me and for me, all that I know to be true just crumbles under the weight of comparison.

I’ve heard it said before that comparison is the thief of joy but it’s so much more destructive than that. Comparison robs you of your best life, the life that God has graced you for.  Comparison tells you that what you have is not enough and what others have is better. Comparison says that the road you’re on leads to nowhere while your neighbor is on a path to destiny. Comparison silences the voice of God in your life.

I remember several months ago, having an ‘insta-episode’ as I would like to call it and I looked at a picture of a gorgeous woman. Looking at her long hair, curvy body and gorgeous face I thought to myself ‘Dear God, I can’t compete with her’ and the Lord whispered back ‘You don’t have to’.

 

Insecurities tell you it’s a competition.

Insecurities tell you that you’ve got to compete.

Insecurities tell you that you have to do better, be better, buy better.

Insecurities tell you everything you have is nothing compared to what they behold.

 

But confidence in Christ reminds you that you don’t have to compete. You don’t have to fight for first place. You don’t have to look at your co-laborers as competitors. Life is a collaboration, not a competition and when you realize that, you’re released to simply be all God has called you to be. Someone else’s success does not equal your failure. There is more then enough purpose, success and destiny to go around. The idea that when someone else is doing well means your doing bad is a lie straight from hell that needs to be torn down.

No more looking to the left or to the right, no more comparing and contrasting, no more feeling sorry for yourself, just the freedom to be everything God desires you to be. The idea of beauty and success in our society is a moving mark. It’s one thing one moment and something different the next. But the purpose God has placed in you, the man or woman He destined you to be even before He laid down the foundations of the Earth, that does not change. That does not grow old. That does not go out of style.

God was and still is obsessed with you. God has always and will always delight Himself in you. God is not a moving mark, He is stable and secure, steadfast and strong, He is the one that claims you His and purposed you for Heaven’s sake.

Friend, look away from the screen for a moment- maybe not forever, but long enough to fix your eyes on things above. All the things lovely and admirable that God says about you, all things beautiful and steadfast, all things true and tangible.

God is obsessed with you, never forget it. Let Him be your obsession as well.

xx.. Lori

MAKE ROOM

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Have you ever had one of those God whispers that literally touches your soul? Your heart skips a beat, you’re suddenly smiling and you just feel lighter inside? Like someone literally shined a light into a dark place or pulled a lump of heaviness off your chest?

I had one of those moments this week.

Let me set the backdrop for you… Several months ago a felt the Lord wake me up in the middle of the night and He began to share a series of affirmations with me. He spoke to my marriage, motherhood, work, ministry and most importantly, just me as a woman and as His daughter.
It was beautiful. It encouraged me, it inspired me and it honestly, it stretched me because I don’t always view myself the way the Lord does. I typed it all down in my phone as it came to me and then the next day I read it, and re-read it and then read it again. I then transferred it into a word document, I printed it out and I’ve kept it with me ever since. I read it sometimes for inspiration or encouragement, on my worst days I want to remind myself of how God sees me despite how I see myself.

But as you can imagine, sometimes inspiring things can also be intimidating things. I went from really encouraged, to really discouraged. Really excited, to really exhausted. ‘How could God see this in me?’ I would ask myself. ‘Maybe I heard wrong’ I would reason. ‘How am I going to do all this?’

But deep down inside I knew that God does see me lovely, I didn’t hear wrong and it was never about what I could do but what HE can do. I was having a hard time reconciling my fickle thoughts with the thoughts of my faithful Father and I desperately needed some insight.

Since then I’ve sporadically prayed about this night, His intention and purpose for it. ‘What now, God?’ I would ask. I didn’t want to feel intimidated by Him, I wanted to be encouraged by the word of the Lord!!!

So fast forward, months later- I heard a still, small whisper.

‘Make room.’

That was it. That was the answer I was looking for. As I heard the words, I knew exactly what it was the answer to; how, where, what, when, why. All the questions I had answered in two words; MAKE ROOM.

Immediately I saw this vision in my mind of me literally moving things, making room for the Lord to do what He said He would do. I saw myself making space for the Father to work. Literally, figuratively, spiritually, emotionally; in all ways, in all things, I saw myself creating space for the Lord.

I want to ask you today, what are you waiting on? What prayers have yet to come to fruition? What promises have yet come to pass? What purpose has yet to develop within you? And now ask yourself ‘Am I making room?’

I know for me, this was a reminder that although we pray, although we believe, we must make room for God to work. Maybe that means making room in your schedule for the Lord. Maybe it means making room literally for a project or purpose He has assigned you with, maybe it means making room emotionally in a hardened heart for the Lord to work in you. Whatever it looks like for you, make room for Him. Create a space, in fact create many spaces the Lord can move in on.

My hope today is that you too would be inspired by the greatness of the Lord and His plans for you rather then being intimidated by them. We don’t need to know everything, we don’t need to have it all figured out, but we can make space for God to do what only He can do.

Be blessed & stay the path!

xx…Lori

I AM A LIONESS

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Since I first saw this imagery and read these words, my soul was arrested. Yes, yes and more YES! This is all of my heart for this season of life in one picture and two sentences.

Lioness

‘I am a lioness. I will not cringe for them.’

Do you ever just get sick of shrinking back? Settling in on fear? Submitting to insecurity? Subjecting your faith to paralyzing doubt? Overthinking yourself into a frenzy? Letting worry become a way of life? Have you ever just gotten to the point where you’re like ‘Enough is enough! I’m done!! I’m so sick of this!!’

It feels like there’s always something or someone pulling for your attention, probing at your emotions and pushing you until you reach what feels like ‘the end’ and yet, in some bittersweet phenomenon, you just keep on going. But you’re not going in the direction you want to go, you’re not doing the things you want to do, you’re not living the life God has designed for you, you’re just going- and going nowhere, fast!

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in frivolousness that this world has to offer, the bitter substitute for fruitfulness but what about daring to step out and up? What about living in the potential, fullness and greatness God has placed in your soul? What about being the #BossBabe you dream about? What about that?

A couple of weeks ago I began to lose sight of this and in a moment of frustration I heard a sweet whisper from heaven…

‘You’re thinking small. Look up, think BIG!’

To my sweet friend on the other side of this blog, I want to remind you to look up and think big. Whatever is before you, won’t be there forever. All of heaven is behind you, God is with you- He is for you! You, sweet sister, are a lioness. Do not cringe for them!

One of my favorite passages from the Message paraphrase says it best..

Dear, dear Corinthians, I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively! (2 Corinthians 6:11-13)

I hope as you read these words, something within you begins to stir. Something inside begins to flutter and you can’t help but get up, stretch out, put you chin up, shoulders back and face the world with a revealed confidence in Jesus.  Pray and slay, boss babe!!

xx.. Lori

FREEDOM

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Coming up to my 30th birthday, I’ve been doing SO much reflecting. Like really- it’s almost unhealthy (LOL) but in all seriousness birthdays for me are like my own personal new year. It’s when I reflect on the last year and plan for the next year. My hopes, desires and ideas all come out like a flood and it’s a wonderful time for me personally.

This year has been a little extra because I’m changing decades! And that’s a pretty big deal. Leaving one and stepping into another I can only think to myself- My 20’s have been amazing!! What could possibly beat them? I got saved and married, began working in ministry, I bought my first house (and car), I became a mother for the 1st and 2nd time, I became an ordained Pastor, changed career paths (twice) and then graduated with tons of other mini victories in between. Literally so much- how could any decade compare to the last??

I literally want to know, how? How could my thirties possibly be better than my twenties? I’m not sure but I can say this- I believe that in my 30’s I will experience some aspects of my same life in a different way and from a different place. I believe that I will walk into and through my thirties from a place of full and total freedom.

Let me elaborate… The one thing I can say is through my 20’s is that although many great and wonderful things happened to me on the outside, we all have a battle and I am not except of that. My husband and I struggled early on in our marriage with employment and housing but truthfully, most of my battles weren’t external, they were internal. And for me, while things have always appeared well on the outside, I have had a waging war on the inside for quite some time now.

I cannot even begin to tell you the struggle I’ve dealt with. The anxiety, stress, fears, bouts of depression and straight up mental torment! If it wasn’t one thing, it was another but I can honestly say I have come through by the grace of God stronger on the other side. But this year, I believe will be different. This year I’m believing for grace not just to get through but to overcome.

This year, as I’m really coming into my own, I’ve realized that these attacks have been less about me and the frivolous things that flare them up, and more about the place it takes me and the way it debilitates me. The place of isolation, weariness and withdraw that keeps me from being the woman God created me to be and pursuing the destiny that he has mapped out for me. The place of frustration and fear where the enemy whispers ‘I told you so’. The place of feelings of failure that convince me quitting would be no worse than sucking this bad. The place where if I could just hide, forever, I would.

But over the course of time, I’m coming to the divine realization and internal revelation that it was never about ‘those things’. It was never about the broken relationship; it was about instilling a deep rooted fear of rejection and validating that through offenses. It wasn’t about me actually being ‘ugly’; it was about the way I would withdraw from people in order to hide that insecurity. It was never about having poor reading comprehension or being ‘stupid’, it was about silencing the voice God had put within me.  It was never about the things that caused so much guilt and shame but rather the way my shame separated me from God the Father. It was never about ‘not being good enough’ for my then boyfriend (now husband) it was about creating a divide that would attempt to stop heaven’s plan for our life together.

My 20’s has taught me that it’s not about those things, it’s about stealing the thing that Christ died for- my freedom. My 20’s have showed me that I don’t want to be free, I need to be free! It’s a matter of life and eternity, destiny and calling, influence and expression. I need to be free because if I’m not, who will be who I’m called to be? Who will do the things I am gifted to do? Who will walk in the anointing assigned to me? The answer is no one. And the last thing I want to do is leave a void on earth that heaven wanted to fill through me. I will not allow my frivolous feelings and fears do that, not to me, not to humanity because yes, I do believe I have something to offer humanity.

I have learned that God’s word is truth and all else is merely opinion. I refuse to live my life based on opinions of man over the truth of God. I have for a while, but I won’t anymore.

And can I tell you something? You don’t have to either! I’m not special, I’m not the only one chosen or the only one that God has a plan for, YOU DO TOO! And if you would realize this sobering truth, I believe you too can influence Earth for Heaven’s sake.

Over the next week or so, I will be sharing little bits and pieces of my story and what I’ve learned along the way. I encourage you to join the journey and share your own thoughts and reflections! I would love to hear from you.

xx… Lori

EFFORTLESS WAVE

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I’m obsessed with Pinterest. I love looking for ideas—ideas for my home, my yard, my wardrobe, my writing. You name it and I’ll find inspiration for it on Pinterest. Recently I was trying to get a certain look for my hair- I wanted a wave- a loose, effortless wave. I started looking on Pinterest for ideas. What’s the best tool? I’ve been using a flat iron to curl my hair but is a curling iron better? Maybe even a wand? All questions I really needed to know the answers to!

I started searching. Little by little, I found tools, tips and products, pictures and tutorials; basically everything I needed! Then it happened, I came across one specific post titled something like ‘Effortless Wave’. JACKPOT!! This is exactly what I needed, an effortless wave. I’m a busy woman, I have a lot going on and I don’t have a lot of time to spend on my hair so I need this! I NEEDED EFFORTLESS.

I clicked on the link and began to read through the steps.

  1. Wash your hair
  2. Blow dry your hair
  3. Add root volumizer
  4. Use a wand
  5. Separate your hair into sections
  6. Curl the mid-section (not the top, not the bottom, just the middle)
  7. Clip, pin and lift the curl.
  8. Spray the curl
  9. Shake the curl

Blah, blah, blah! This isn’t a beauty post so I’ll spare you the details, but the point is once I started reading one thing was evident; the effortless curl is anything BUT effortless. This bummed me out a little. I was really looking forward to finding the key, getting that flawless Kardashian curl without the stylist, extensions or team of people working to make me look great.

I really wanted that effortless curl but what I got was far more valuable.

When I got to the bottom of that post, reading less and less as I went on, skimming more and more out of pure frustration, I found this; I found that things aren’t always what they seem and if you want to see the prize, you have to commit to the process.

When I’m searching Pinterest or Instagram for ideas or inspiration, it’s really easy to see someone’s highlights and want it for myself. Why can’t I have the effortless beach wave? Why can’t I have that slim waist and flat stomach? Why can’t I have the nice car, clean house and perfect family? Why not?!

Why? Because things are always what they seem. What you see online or on social media isn’t the whole truth, in fact it might be everything BUT the truth. That’s hard to swallow because most of us post on social media sites all the time and the assumption is not that we are liars, but think about it- that picture with your kids? How many tries did it really take? How many bribes (or threats) took place? The picture on the beach on vacation? How annoyed where you all morning? The perfect selfie? How many times did it take to get ‘the one’? It’s not that we’re all liars, it’s just that not everything is always what it seems. There’s always more to the story. There’s always more to what you see. It’s not as simple as snap and share- life is complicated! Life is messy! It’s much harder then it appears and while we love to believe things fall into place by osmosis, and everyone else has it so much easier than us, it doesn’t and they don’t. Life is just as difficult and messy for those around you as it is for you. This should be encouraging! You’re not alone in you’re struggle, you’re not alone in your dysfunction, you might feel alone- but you’re not.

This leads me to my second realization- if you want to see the prize, you must commit to the process. Quite honestly, as much as I love the effortless wave, I don’t love it that much! I’m just really not willing to invest all that time and effort into something that I believed to be ‘effortless’. Does it mean that I can’t ever? No, absolutely not! But it does mean that until I am willing to commit to the process, I’ll never see the prize at the end.

Now this example may seem trivial to you, but the concept can go to anything. When we want to reach the prize, achieve the goal, grasp the promise- we must first commit to the process. There’s simply no other way. There aren’t any short cuts in life, as a believer I hold onto hope and grace, but I surely know that prayer is not a substitute for hard work nor is hard work a substitute for prayer. When I combine the two, that’s when I find the most success, that’s when I find myself living a fruitful, meaningful life.

For a long time (and even on a bad day I’ll find myself reverting to this) I would look around and see what everyone around me was doing, achieving, receiving etc. I would wonder why it was so much easier for them or why they are more fortunate then I was. It wasn’t until I experienced some personal growth and maturity that I realized, things aren’t always what they seem and there are no easy fixes in life. Life is hard, for all of us! And when we get a grip of that, we can focus on our fight and not the one to the right or the left. When I was much more insecure and self- conscious of my body and appearance, I would look at a beautiful woman and think ‘I wish I could look like that! Why can’t I have her body? Why can’t I have her hair?’ I was constantly measuring up to other woman and comparing what I didn’t have to what they did have, in time I’ve been able to look at those women not as a threat or a sign of my weakness but a symbol of strength and encouragement that if they can do it, so can I.

Society is always telling us that we aren’t good enough but what if I told you- you are! You absolutely are!! Every thought of effortless, let it go- there is no such thing! Every thought of- I can’t, let it go! You can! Every feeling of ‘I can’t compete’ let it go!! You don’t have to!!

We are all running a race, chasing a prize- your journey might look different then mine, but we all have one nonetheless. Take courage! Be brave! Be bold! And most importantly, be confident. You are doing far better then you think you are.

Stay encouraged, you’re doing better then you think you are!

xx.. LB

TOP TEN

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My routine is far from perfect but here are the top ten things that help me to be successful and keep my sanity!!

1. WAKE UP EARLY –> There is nothing worse than rushing around & starting your day in a panic. Wake up on time & prepare to slay. If you’re a Momma like me, something that helps make my mornings a bit smoother is waking up well before the babes do. This means I’m able to shower, dress & get some coffee in my system before they’re even up! I know this means for an EARLY morning, but it also means a stress- LESS morning.

2. PRAY–> While hard work is required for success, so is grace. Never underestimate the importance of divine connection. PRAY & slay, it’s the only way to live a truly satisfying, successful AND FRUITFUL life! Prayer has made the difference in my life more times than I can count- pray about everything, worry about nothing.

3. PLAN –>After prayer comes planning. If you want to be successful, plan for it. Make room for it. Success doesn’t just fall into place. For me, this includes a planner. I write everything down. It helps me remain accountable while being realistic about my time and availability. Don’t be someone to over commit and under deliver. Be a person who DOES what they said they would do.

4. COFFEE, COFFEE AND MORE COFFEE!!–> Start your morning with a good cup of coffee at HOME! Save time, money and you’ll be certain to have the perfect cup, the first time! If you’re brave enough, ease off the sugars to prevent a crash later in the day. Invest in some cute travel mugs, this will inspire you to bring your coffee rather than always buying it.

5. GET DRESSED –> Whatever your agenda involves, dress the part & do it well. How you look effects how you feel. If you’re hitting the gym, don’t be afraid to invest in some cute workout clothes, if you’re heading to work; dress well! Be neat, clean and put together- the ‘I woke up like this’ is cute on Snapchat, not in real life, not in a place of business.

6. BELIEVE –>Believe it’s a good day, believe the best about others, believe in yourself & most importantly; believe God has a plan for you. Whether you’re an at home Mom (which let’s be honest- is a LOT of work!) or you’re working in an office, whether you’re full time ministry, or unemployed- God has a plan. If you believe that, you’ll carry on throughout the days with much more purpose.

7. ACCOMPLISH YOUR #SQUADGOALS –> Everyone wants to be surrounded by people who love, support & encourage them. Find those people. If you’re having a hard time, no worries, begin to BE that person to those around you. Set the tone & watch your relational rhythms change. One of the enemies of destiny is a distracting relationship- do not fall into that trap. Surround yourself with solid, faith filled, destiny chasing, big thinking people.

8. DON’T HATE, APPRECIATE –> This goes for every aspect of life. Stop hating your job, life & spouse, the mess your kids made, your co- worker, your car, the person you think is doing just a bit better then you, etc. Appreciate what you have. Love those around you. A grateful heart is a healthy heart. When you see success, don’t shrink back with insecurities, reach out! What’s working for the successful people around you? Remember; insecurities say ‘I can’t compete with her’ but confidence says ‘I don’t have to!’ Collaboration NOT competition is the key. Never be afraid to learn from someone else. Learning from others and asking for help has definitely made a difference in my life!

9. APPROACH OPPORTUNITY WITH OPTIMISM –> When opportunity presents its self, don’t focus on every reason it won’t work, focus on why it can! Don’t let hard work intimidate you- face it and dominate. Too many times we shy away from things because it’s ‘too hard’ or ‘too much work’, friends, let me tell you- NOTHING worth having comes easily.

10. WORK WILLINGLY –> If you’re a Christian then you know Colossians 3:23 tells us to  ‘Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people’. Your place is your platform. Your service is the stage in which God can present himself to others, USE IT. Don’t want for the pulpit, many of us will never make it there. Embrace THIS place and work willingly as though you are always working for the Lord, because you are!

These are some of the things that work for me, what about you? What does your routine look like? What’s helping you reach your daily #goals? Or what are you struggling with? I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment or shoot me a message 🙂

xx… Lori